Thursday, March 28, 2013


gotta leave for work in a few minutes. meh. trying to decide wether i should go to this ug-party after work tonight, it's super close to my work but i've got work at 15:30 again tomorrow so i wonder if staying up until 6 in the morning is that good of an idea.
then again, #yolo!!

slutty camwhoring makes everything more bearable :):):)

Tuesday, March 26, 2013


this post has absolutely no point other than me trying to be brutally honest to myself, and thus starting a process to become better.

i was raised to hate women. i'm a feminist, pan-sexual (at least on paper) and a super empathic person by nature. yet i have to struggle, on a daily basis, with disturbing thoughts regarding other women.

my life is like a constant competition against other women, and it's suffocating. and embarrassing. and i'm trying really hard to stop. to stop comparing my attractiveness in the eyes of others to that of other women. to stop slut shaming. to stop judging other women based on how hip they are. i'm ashamed to admit i do all of this. and while some of it almost certainly wells from a low self esteem, i'm not willing to blame all of this on it.

i've been coming to this realization ever since i, not too long ago, accused ilmari, my lovely partner who treats me with nothing but respect and love as an equal, by default, of only valuing me based on appearance and oral sex skills. as soon as i'd said it i realized it's not him who sees me in such a way, it's me. which really hurt to realize. really, really hurt, especially my ego, because i've thought of myself as better than that. but alas, it really is i who regard myself as more desirable if i like weird sex and swallowing cum. it's i who want to be one of the guys and chug beer super fast, and the most feminine and attractive woman in the room at the same time. it's i who am so very grateful for my appearance because being beautiful makes your words matter.

so, how am i going to blame this on others? well, because i highly doubt i'm alone with this. i think it's come from my female role models, both real and fictional, who have had exactly the same kind of thoughts that i struggle to rid myself of, and have all my life spoken in degrading ways about other women, targeting attributes such as appearance and how sloppy one's vagina is.

what remains now, is trying to stop fighting this very real, yet completely imaginary fight against other women.


from here

Saturday, March 23, 2013


logged on to this morning to see if a pair of shoes i've been wanting for would've arrived. instead, i see this horrible train wreck:




sure, i like many of the pieces, ENOUGH TO ALREADY FUCKING OWN THE ORIGINALS. i have absolutely no problem with shopping at high street shops, but the difference is, they're just shittier and cheaper copies of the real deal and everybody knows it. however, i've yet to see a blogger "design" a "collection" that isn't just that. of course i get why they're letting a popular blogger design a really shitty collection since it still sells because of her name and face on it, but it still makes me a bit angry and sad, because this has got nothing of it's own and the copying is really blatant.

to end this i'd just like to say actual buffalo boots are incredibly comfortable and nice to walk in, please buy the real deal and not this bs. you can buy them here for example.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013


i tried to find spiked bracelets to wear as anklets all day yesterday but it's impossible nowadays, apparently. the closest i came to what i wanted was at gina tricot, which is like ridiculous because i went to all the stores where i did my shopping when i was 13 and they just didn't sell any anymore. today i'm going to some metalhead store before a meeting at work and try to score a pair there.

here's a random outfit picture from last week. wearing just a bralette was a pretty stupid idea since it's still fucking freezing.

lol my nose looks hyperweird.

this weekend nelli and i are throwing a cosmic theme party. i'm very excited, at first i thought i'd just glue extramuch glitter and confetti to my face, but then i realized it'd be too obvious so i'm gonna go for something else. hope it'll turn out stellar too.

i just watched the new episode of the carrie diaries (completely addicted. i can't watch satc anymore because i get a feminist meltdown every two seconds tho) and got reckless and bought myself a bunny knit. apparently people have been whining about the styling in the show but i think it's fab and want to own pretty much everything. plus they went to the "publishing of less than zero" in this episode. i bloody _love_ bret easton ellis.

but, i mean, look at this knit, how could i not have to have it? now it's on it's way to me (⌒▽⌒)☆

Wednesday, March 13, 2013


some time ago my friend hellen went to a flea market in porvoo and saw a pink fur coat and short story even shorter, now it's mine! super.

so, without further ado, i present to you

(pardon the messy hallway. kallio lifestyle 4evah)

coat: "vintage"
dress: h&m
shoes: unif
sunnies: asos
bag: nasty gal

in other news i'm having a day off but i'm dead inside because i work shitty nine hour shifts from three in the afternoon to midnight and am too tired to do anything but get intoxicated or watch geordie shore and zack and cody when i'm not working. I WANT TO WANT TO STUDY but i don't.


Tuesday, March 5, 2013

1 CAMWHORAGE ☿☿☿☿☿☿☿


i've been working A LOT and am finally having two days off. bliss. i'm in bed watching the snooki & jwoww marathon.

i got myself a pair of hellbounds by unif. my intention was to wait for a restock of the mermaid pink ones, but when nasty gal restocked the black ones i decided to go for it, and i'm beyond glad i did bc they're gorgeous! plus, they're like _ridiculously_ comfortable. they make my jeffrey campbell shoes feel wobbly and torturous in comparison. i wouldn't normally want to own the same thing in several colors, but i think i actually might get hellbounds in more colors, that's how much i love them.

last week before work i went thrift shopping with tea. found three great pieces. this burberry's coat is one of them. (lol this shiny upper east side elevator mirror)