Wednesday, August 28, 2013


why can't there be really advanced robot pets already? don't get me wrong, i am going to get myself an og sony aibo asap because it's awesome, but i want a bunny. i really, really, really want a bunny, but seeing as i can't even manage to keep a plant alive despite all the effort and love... also, i kind of think having pets in general is a bit perverse and i try to respect all animals as their own individuals and masters and not appreciate them for attributes such as looks or sound, but it's really hard for me when it comes to bunnies (and humans, for that matter). so, what better than an advanced cyber robot bunny? cuddly, but doesn't have to be washed and doesn't smell, doesn't need food yet chills around doing bunny stuff, doesn't sleep but charges during the night. how stellar would that be? _extremely_

today i had work at 6am. tomorrow i'm having a day off.
today i'm endlessly sad. i hope i'll be happy tomorrow.
today i want to watch the first twilight film. tomorrow i might take myself on a movie date and watch something proper.


Friday, August 23, 2013


can we just take a moment and appreciate these shoes again ok

pix & shoes from solestruck
they're just so terribly expensive. they're almost a $100 more than a pair of hellbounds, and those aren't cheap either. plus the customs would be an additional $100. BUT THEN AGAIN iwantthemsobadandthey'resuperuniqueandcoolandusableand eautifulandmorecomfortablethanhellbounds (although i wore them after a break a while back and was again amazed at how incredibly comfortable they are) so i could wear them everyday for the rest of my life and ugh ugh ugh ugh.
i think i'll end up buying them.
because i really want to. 
because i've become so much better. 
because i'm worth it.
because i would be the coolest in the world.

tuesday housewife

i'm somewhat sick. on tuesday i had a high fever in the evening but on wednesday i was totally fine, yesterday i had a terrible headache at work and this morning i had a horrible flu and now i'm quite alright. what.

my hair is ridiculous. i'm trying to grow my bangs out but it's so painful and painful and painful and painful and painful and i hate doing it but i have to do it because i look so much edgier without it. yesterday i got a loose hair in my eye and it got stuck on my eyeball and i tried to get it out for like 15 minutes and finally when i managed to get that stupid hair out i had to sit down for 5 minutes so i wouldn't vomit or faint because the hair had like eye slime on it and it was just so horrible, i hope i'll never have to go through that again. i'm not chill with eyeballs.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013


ah trench coats and pearls and pvc.
what a diamond combo.

today i'm going to blast bowie from my macbook air and not bother attaching it to speakers (like i'd ever) and look like a loser housewife and watch mtv and then go and binge on my mom's delish food because she's hands down the best cook ever and i'm going to play video and board games with my little brother and then ilmari is taking me to our neighbor chinese restaurant.

otherwise, i'm trying to chillax. i'm so tense i'm going to snap any day now. i'm so tired of being a douche about stuff and it's like i hate fashion and trends as it is, it's just so very easy for me, and i'm very attached to visually pleasing things. but i want to be able to step out for five minutes and not be like "what are you doing combining those shoes with that and can you just please stop wearing those ugly ass flower crowns, they're so passé and dip dyes were cool in 2008 and having unnatural hair colors in general can you just not plz cmon AND IF NOTHING ELSE, PLEASE I BEG YOU TO STOP WITH EVERYTHING THAT'S JOY DIVISION" and you probably get what i'm saying. it's EXHAUSTING to be like this. once upon a time i ate a tiny bit of acid and it made me so pleasant and calm. and now it's haunting me and i just want to be pleasant and calm all the time and currently i really have a hard time seeing people as people before i know them because everyone looks the same AND AT THE SAME TIME WHY DO I WORSHIP MYSELF OVER EVERYONE ELSE WHEN MONEY CAN BUY ANYTHING ANYWAY AND WHY IS IT BETTER TO CHOOSE CERTAIN CLOTHES FROM H&M RATHER THAN THOSE MOST CHOOSE???? ah, i feel like this stuff won't be a problem for me in like two years, but as for now, ugh. but you know, i bet this partially has something to do with my style being mainstream fashion at the moment. i've had pastel hair for years without being a mall goth at the same time, and i've loved pvc and platform shoes (i've had my creepers for 7 years) and i've had a bob since forever and i just feel like i do my own thing better than everyone else who's thing it isn't and it's bothering me that i look like everyone else. and i want to say it's because everyone else sees me as "just another fashionista (god how i hate that word)" but that's how i look at people too (but then again, truth is it's easy to spot someone who is fashionable and still doing their own thing contra someone wearing platforms shoes, galaxy patterns and a flower crown with lavender hair and disco pants all at the same time) and it's just a vicious cycle and i want out. because i'm not a vicious person at all. i'm a very nice and loving and silly person and i just want to enjoy life as much as i can, heck, i'm so nice i only watch sitcoms. i really just want to be happy and do nice things and have a moderate collection of pretty stuff that i appreciate for reasons other than the brand or how hip it is. sometimes i wonder if stopping using the internet for other things than netflix and actually looking for information would be the key. maybe i should go to india and smoke endless amounts of weed and come back a hippie.

but, i really want to bring some good news, too. some time ago, i wrote about how misogynist and sexist i am, and i really feel i've become incredibly much better. so now it's just this snobbery and elitism and insecurity that has to go. i feel heaps better after finally writing it out, too. to anyone who knows me it's no news, but now it's really out in the open and i'll try to better myself further.

i think i've heard two songs from one direction but i'm still crushing on them more than ever, currently i'm watching "mtv live hd" and best song ever is on again and it's so adorable. why can't i be in one direction?

(a selena gomez vid is on now, she's so ridiculously pretty and this song (come & get it) is extremely catchy. very much enjoying the scenery as well lol see how i'm overcompensating now that i've admitted what a witch i really am)
(bastille, on the other hand, bores me to death)
(i _love_ ray dalton in this macklemore song (can't hold us), i love his subtle dancing when he first appears, i love his clothes, i love his voice, i want to be him, he seems extremely zen)

gotta bounce.
much love, seriously.

Friday, August 16, 2013


i hate unif.
i _hate_ unif.
i unfollowed all my favorite stores on fb for time being but forgot i can still read e-mail titles and it's not like i can skip a mail titled "hey baby naomi new unif collection up give us ur money bitch and we'll be ur best friend" and i'm like, i'll just have a little glance, surely it's ugly as hell becuase that's how i always feel about unif. and uknow, i can resist most of it, like, the furby sweater is really tickling my fancy, but i can resist it, but then BOOM MOTHERFUCKING BAM, there it is. the gammaray skirt;

i i'm getting tired of holographic clothing
ii i know i haven't worn my mermaid skirt much because of the cut which isn't stellar on moi, and it's the same cut
iii i've eaten nothing but candy and pies since quitting smoking so i would look bad in anything (i swear i'll get a grip next week)
iv it might be sold out in the two weeks until my paycheck

pics are screencaps from dollskill.
das all.

Saturday, August 10, 2013


i'm quitting smoking and trying to make it easier by living on fat, fast carbs and booze. working like a charm so far, but i'm afraid of what i'm going to look like in a week.

i want my style to be more uniform-like and consistent. consistently ドットコム·バブル, junkie cyber slutty ninja athletic mall goth.
plus i need more fur coats. fur > everything.

dries van noten ss 14
something that looks like it's from dolls kill
iceberg ss 14

2nite ilmari and i are going to some dnb party nearby. hope it's fun. rn i'm so bored tho :(

#smize #newantmcyclemakesmecringe #stillhooked #nofilter

Thursday, August 8, 2013


i feel sick inside and out and there's a rotten smell coming from somewhere deep inside me.

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

i wish i could see love exposure for the first time over and over.

Sunday, August 4, 2013


so a couple of days ago i saw this kid wearing an unknown pleasures tee, and i didn't want to burn the shirt and lecture him. you know why? because he was this awkward looking, skinny, pale kid with bad posture and unfashionable glasses and was tops 17. fucking grow up, the rest of you.

on friday i went out with mom and her friend. when i got off work they were in grotesk which was an ok place. then we went to teatteri which was like ridiculously shitty. oh my god. worst dj ever. on wednesday i went to roska with henni. just because i forgot my id at home and it's about the closest bar to our place. they played the best music i've ever heard in roska. not some disgusting passé indie shit with a touch of ironic something in between. i mean, it wasn't that cutting edge or ug or anything on wednesday either, but it was perf. and the clientele consisted of tall, speedy guys and not catty post-hipsters.

endless love 4ever,

Friday, August 2, 2013


i was gonna go to flow festival this year. because grimes and because my bloody valentine nostalgia and because k-x-p and because kraftwerk and apart from grimes, especially for the club-gigs past 1am. but... there aren't any???? the entire festival closes at like 2am. what the fucking fuck kinda sad joke is that? i'll admit i haven't had any interest in going since 2009, but this year i was really feeling it and now i'm not feeling it. like, i'd really love to see grimes, but then again it might end up being disgusting because helsinki, so i wouldn't pay that much i guess. and maybe i'd just rather drink cheap beer at home and google-search for some ug party because i'm a loser.



i need platinum cornrows tho.

the only right accessory for all eternity. currently shopping for a cute enough one.