Monday, December 30, 2013
Saturday, November 23, 2013
NORMAL ACTIVITY 3: LOSER IDEC
having a break from playing crash bandicoot 3. i'll have to go and get my work keys from work where i left them today. i'm so angsty because i'm opening all weekend, so i need to be in bed by 1am :(:(:( BLEH! i need to do something big tonight, like eat out or see a movie at the cinema, otherwise i'll end up feeling like my life is slipping through my fingers lol.
it's like, i wish i'd post something actual some time so that these pictures of me in bed with my make up smeared all over my face would feel personal and something. but that's not how i roll, so.
it's like, i wish i'd post something actual some time so that these pictures of me in bed with my make up smeared all over my face would feel personal and something. but that's not how i roll, so.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
JEFFREY CAMPBELL NIRVANA VS THE REAL DEAL
so the shoes i've been rambling on and on about since forever are officially sold out in my size and the chances of a restock are prolly very thin to none at all. however, partially fortunately, as i was browsing nasty gal a few weeks ago i came across the nirvana boot by jeffrey campbell.
jeffrey campbell has always made my skin crawl a bit even though i own a pair of glitter foxys and used to have a pair of night walks.
vs.
the nirvanas are uglier, the sole is just a few cm too low to actually be high enough for my liking and they're undoubtedly of much lower quality in addition to surely being sported by the #soft grunge people whom i have nothing against but weren't exactly the people i wanted to be associated with by buying the buffalo version. they're not really that much cheaper either. but i'm still very much considering buying them... does that make me a disgusting human being? i'll have to flip a coin or smthn.
jeffrey campbell has always made my skin crawl a bit even though i own a pair of glitter foxys and used to have a pair of night walks.
vs.
the nirvanas are uglier, the sole is just a few cm too low to actually be high enough for my liking and they're undoubtedly of much lower quality in addition to surely being sported by the #soft grunge people whom i have nothing against but weren't exactly the people i wanted to be associated with by buying the buffalo version. they're not really that much cheaper either. but i'm still very much considering buying them... does that make me a disgusting human being? i'll have to flip a coin or smthn.
IDK RLY RHO
wearing silly sohigh top by unif. looking icky and soulless (feeling the part rn). ghastly and haunted.
idk.
idk.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
ICK
u know, i really want to be famous so everyone will want to interview me #lifegoals yo
bcuz i'm only posting so i can fill out this survey. again. i deleted all the hyperboring questions
1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
yes
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
nay, just because i was such a stupid runt when i was 18. if i dated some dope 18-year-old i'd just feel like a failure and if they weren't dope i wouldn't do it anyway
3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?
like always lel
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
i do. every day. hundreds of times
6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
i've only listened to sunday by sonic youth (♥♥ btw) and it doesn't remind me of anyone but myself
7. What exactly are you wearing right now?
mesh skirt, big pastel colored knit, choker, lingerie(!)
8. How often do you listen to music?
every two days or so
9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
idk. neither? jeans i guess
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
well surely not antisocial lol. but no, i'm very social
12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘B’?
4shou
13. What about ‘S’?
4shou
14. Can you drive a stick shift?
no :((((((((
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
yes :(((((((
16. Are you going out of town soon?
i sure hope so. if unif would stop taking all my money
17. When was the last time you cried?
today
18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?
yes
19. If you could change your eye color, would you?
yes! a hundred thousand times yes! i'd change them light pink or super blue or black
20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?
no. i doubt there's anyone i'd do absolutely everything for, like i want to stay away from all genocide and torture and rape
21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.
slight headache
22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
not if it's random guys, no. ew.
23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?
yes
24. What are you sitting on right now?
sofa
25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?
ya like everyone
26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
alice glass when i was 16 :(
27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
ilmari
28. Do you get a lot of colds?
yes
29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
mango
30. Does anyone hate you?
doubt it
31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?
no
32. Do you like watching scary movies?
yes!
33. Do you want your tongue pierced?
my tongue just so happens to be pierced, but i'm going to take it out some day when i'm not as lazy as usually
34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
fffff. that one really shitty year when i'm middle aged and divorce and my kids hate me and i'm considering selling a kidney to get a face lift and a louis vuitton wallet to match my h&m gear lol
35. Did you have a dream last night?
cnt remember
37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
idk maybe tho
38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
surely
39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
no
40. Did you have a good day yesterday?
twas alright
41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?
yes
42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?
prolly
43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
yes lol liars
44. What’s the best part about school?
lasagna
45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
i do
49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
no, fortunately
50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
nothing
52. Are you nice to everyone?
i try to, but if they're not nice to me i probably don't have the energy or capacity to be nice to them
53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
yes
55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
no! i'm so bad
58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
couldn't care less, boys and girls and everything outside and in between
65. Are your toenails painted pink?
no. i hate touching my toenails so painting them is awful
66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?
probably
67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?
haha what?? why would i want someone to be sad and cry? unless they've been really depressed and haven't even been able to cry then sure but it still wouldn't be like my favorite thing
70. How do you look right now?
cozy
l8r make and laura are coming over to play some cosmic encounter.
yesterday i didn't do anything, we got up at like 5pm and ate tons and watched the first harry potter film and then played some mr. jack.
on friday antonia (=my new girlcrush), aino (=4evs girlcrush), ilmari (=waifu) and moi went to roska. i really don't remember almost anything... what i do remember was fun tho!
here's a stupid pic of me looking old and tired and sad wearing unif's clarity bustier.
bye.
bcuz i'm only posting so i can fill out this survey. again. i deleted all the hyperboring questions
1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
yes
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
nay, just because i was such a stupid runt when i was 18. if i dated some dope 18-year-old i'd just feel like a failure and if they weren't dope i wouldn't do it anyway
3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?
like always lel
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
i do. every day. hundreds of times
6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
i've only listened to sunday by sonic youth (♥♥ btw) and it doesn't remind me of anyone but myself
7. What exactly are you wearing right now?
mesh skirt, big pastel colored knit, choker, lingerie(!)
8. How often do you listen to music?
every two days or so
9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
idk. neither? jeans i guess
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
well surely not antisocial lol. but no, i'm very social
12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘B’?
4shou
13. What about ‘S’?
4shou
14. Can you drive a stick shift?
no :((((((((
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
yes :(((((((
16. Are you going out of town soon?
i sure hope so. if unif would stop taking all my money
17. When was the last time you cried?
today
18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?
yes
19. If you could change your eye color, would you?
yes! a hundred thousand times yes! i'd change them light pink or super blue or black
20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?
no. i doubt there's anyone i'd do absolutely everything for, like i want to stay away from all genocide and torture and rape
21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.
slight headache
22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
not if it's random guys, no. ew.
23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?
yes
24. What are you sitting on right now?
sofa
25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?
ya like everyone
26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
alice glass when i was 16 :(
27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
ilmari
28. Do you get a lot of colds?
yes
29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
mango
30. Does anyone hate you?
doubt it
31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?
no
32. Do you like watching scary movies?
yes!
33. Do you want your tongue pierced?
my tongue just so happens to be pierced, but i'm going to take it out some day when i'm not as lazy as usually
34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
fffff. that one really shitty year when i'm middle aged and divorce and my kids hate me and i'm considering selling a kidney to get a face lift and a louis vuitton wallet to match my h&m gear lol
35. Did you have a dream last night?
cnt remember
37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
idk maybe tho
38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
surely
39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
no
40. Did you have a good day yesterday?
twas alright
41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?
yes
42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?
prolly
43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
yes lol liars
44. What’s the best part about school?
lasagna
45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
i do
49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
no, fortunately
50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
nothing
52. Are you nice to everyone?
i try to, but if they're not nice to me i probably don't have the energy or capacity to be nice to them
53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
yes
55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
no! i'm so bad
58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
couldn't care less, boys and girls and everything outside and in between
65. Are your toenails painted pink?
no. i hate touching my toenails so painting them is awful
66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?
probably
67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?
haha what?? why would i want someone to be sad and cry? unless they've been really depressed and haven't even been able to cry then sure but it still wouldn't be like my favorite thing
70. How do you look right now?
cozy
l8r make and laura are coming over to play some cosmic encounter.
yesterday i didn't do anything, we got up at like 5pm and ate tons and watched the first harry potter film and then played some mr. jack.
on friday antonia (=my new girlcrush), aino (=4evs girlcrush), ilmari (=waifu) and moi went to roska. i really don't remember almost anything... what i do remember was fun tho!
here's a stupid pic of me looking old and tired and sad wearing unif's clarity bustier.
bye.
Friday, October 18, 2013
I HOPE MY 25 BMI MAKES YOU VOMIT
in two hours i've got my last shift of a 8-day murder work streak. i think i've developed stockholm syndrome, because it's like i don't even care lol.
here are some outfit pix of varying quality (outfits, pictures are all the same awful quality as always) and age.
(extremely difficult to put on) top: gina tricot
skirt: emilyk
shoes: y.r.u
jacket: ilmari's
this outfit is so bad but i didn't have anything clean and the cat clutch is so brill it still needs to be posted.
coat: gina tricot
skirt: weekday
since i've only been going to work, i've only been wearing my most comfortable shoes. i might sell some of my mega heels to buy more basic platforms in different colors because clearly i use them more than any other shoes.
everything else i've been doing.
my heart is yearning for spyro 3 while waiting for kingdom hearts 2.5. fortunately next week all my favorite shows (carrie diaries, awkward, pretty little liars halloween special and ravenswood premier) are returning to serve as distraction. i'm somewhat exited for the new american horror story because of the aesthetics and interesting moral questions it arises and jessica lange's character, but i'm so over all stupid gore, wasn't asylum enough?
gotta stuff my face with make up and shop for some pu bustiers before work.
toodles ma poodles.
here are some outfit pix of varying quality (outfits, pictures are all the same awful quality as always) and age.
(extremely difficult to put on) top: gina tricot
skirt: emilyk
shoes: y.r.u
jacket: ilmari's
this outfit is so bad but i didn't have anything clean and the cat clutch is so brill it still needs to be posted.
coat: gina tricot
skirt: weekday
since i've only been going to work, i've only been wearing my most comfortable shoes. i might sell some of my mega heels to buy more basic platforms in different colors because clearly i use them more than any other shoes.
everything else i've been doing.
my heart is yearning for spyro 3 while waiting for kingdom hearts 2.5. fortunately next week all my favorite shows (carrie diaries, awkward, pretty little liars halloween special and ravenswood premier) are returning to serve as distraction. i'm somewhat exited for the new american horror story because of the aesthetics and interesting moral questions it arises and jessica lange's character, but i'm so over all stupid gore, wasn't asylum enough?
gotta stuff my face with make up and shop for some pu bustiers before work.
toodles ma poodles.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Monday, September 30, 2013
BOSS ANGELES
i'm still waiting for my neo boots to arrive, desperately awaiting the customs bill. bought some more unif and dimepiece as soon as i got up today because it's my ✩✩payday yayday✩✩, and because of some karmaloop code in my inbox that actually, for once, did apply to something that i wanted, which is just glorious.
today i'm going shopping for stevia. i'm crazy about it, like what's better than stevia in the entire world? i don't even know why i think stevia is so great, i just do. i want the stevia-logo tattooed on me. i'm also going to buy coconut flour and miracle noodles and a blender ヽ(●⌒∇⌒●)ﾉ
and then i'm going to have to chill out, a lot.
i have this stupid six-hour evening shift which ends, you know it, at midnight. so i'll have to wait until 00:20 to see the last episode of breaking bad, and so does poor ilmari who gets off work at 4pm already, but he's so kind he waits for me :):):) i'm so stoked tho!
right now i'm about to watch the newest episode of antm, didn't get a chance during the weekend. then i'm going to start kh re:chain of memories.
today i'm going shopping for stevia. i'm crazy about it, like what's better than stevia in the entire world? i don't even know why i think stevia is so great, i just do. i want the stevia-logo tattooed on me. i'm also going to buy coconut flour and miracle noodles and a blender ヽ(●⌒∇⌒●)ﾉ
and then i'm going to have to chill out, a lot.
i have this stupid six-hour evening shift which ends, you know it, at midnight. so i'll have to wait until 00:20 to see the last episode of breaking bad, and so does poor ilmari who gets off work at 4pm already, but he's so kind he waits for me :):):) i'm so stoked tho!
right now i'm about to watch the newest episode of antm, didn't get a chance during the weekend. then i'm going to start kh re:chain of memories.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
MY MIND IS JUST KINGDOM HEARTS SO NO TITLE YO
i had a glorious weekend.
on friday ilmari and i went to see for love's sake which i can't recommend to anyone but i still partially loved and as a concept i can hardly think of anything i'd love more.
on saturday we hung around and went to visit my mom and brother and then went to see this estonian film called mushrooming, which was brilliant, and then went to this bar, helsinki underground, which was a complete mess in a good way.
on sunday we played hours of video games and then went to see upstream color, which i liked a lot, too.
yesterday was a bad day, i was really tired and went to work and soon got a terrible migraine and had to come home and lay in the dark and it felt like my eyes would pop out.
today i've got a nine hour evening shift so i ain't doing nothinnn but tomorrow i'm having a day off so i'm going to see tavarataivas by myself which i've wanted to see for a long time already but haven't gotten around to do yet.
otherwise, i've received some "dope" stuff in the mail.
first and foremost, leopard hellbounds.
they're super nice.
and second, a cat clutch. this is just beyond awesome, i'll have to post some lame outfit pic just so you can see how brill it is in action.
lol these pix are so bad lol lol lol i'll take glorious pix one day i swear. this was purposefully bad tho u guys
then ilmari made me a shoe shelf because my shoes are too big and there's too many of them for any store bought solution (actually he just put it up, i bought it and all but i like the 50s feel of the previous sentence, so)
my neo boots and some other stuff are still somewhere on the way but i hope to get them before the end of the month.
How would you describe your style?
junkie goth cyber babe jersey magic girl-kei
Who is your fashion role model?
the late daul kim, cyber goths, post punk bands,
What are you wardrobe staples?
dresses, big shoes, big coats, silly bags
Most expensive item in your closet?
i don't know, i don't think i own very expensive clothes rly. i have a few somewhat pricey shoes, hellbounds for example
Most wanted item?
currently, minkpink farshion coat
Favorite Designer?
alexander mcqueen 4shou
How much do you spend on clothes?
probably between 100€-500€ a month. shiit :T
What are your favorite places to shop?
irl h&m, weekday and zara. i should visit that one store, empire, that sells unif and stuff more often to support it, but it's just so far awayyyyy (no it's not, i've just become so incredibly lazy to leave the very core of helsinki nowadays). online dolls kill, nasty gal, yayer.
Favorite fragrance?
still trying to decide between couture couture by juicy couture and the basic lolita lempicka one
Whats your favorite way to do your hair?
nothing, i'm just happy if it doesn't look like a melted nest
What is your go-to outfit when you have no idea what to wear?
comfortable, all black; skater skirt or dress with cropped knit or top over and yru platforms
Piercings:
nape, nipple and tongue. thinking of getting rid of the tongue one, it never shows and it looks a bit silly on me
Tattoos:
nope, tattoos bore me to death
Boyfriend/Girlfriend:
what about it?
Overused Phrase:
oh god...
Animal:
giraffes, aye-aye, birds and especially peacocks
Drink:
cherry coke zero!!! ugh
Tv show:
hannah montana, pretty little liars, breaking bad, anything gordon ramsay, arrested development, happy endings, don't trust the bitch in apartment 23, hana yori dango, neon genesis evangelion, upotte
Movie:
lost in translation, love exposure
Actor/Actress:
jennifer lawrence, tom cruise and christian bale just because i mean how could he not
Pepsi or Coke:
coke but i think pepsi max is good too
Mc Donalds or Burger King:
i'm gonna go with mcdonald's bc it's been such a long time since i've had burger king so i wouldn't remeber correctly
Kiss or Hug:
both :I
Dog or Cat:
dog
Rap or Punk:
i really enjoy both, currently i'm listening more to rap tho
Summer or Winter:
summer, because of the light
Scary Movies or Funny Movies:
both, combos work too
Love or Money:
love
Want to go to College:
nah
Do you Smoke:
i might bum a cigarette once every two weeks, so i've basically quit
here's moi from two weeks ago
ta-dah
i'm abt to b late for work ick
on friday ilmari and i went to see for love's sake which i can't recommend to anyone but i still partially loved and as a concept i can hardly think of anything i'd love more.
on saturday we hung around and went to visit my mom and brother and then went to see this estonian film called mushrooming, which was brilliant, and then went to this bar, helsinki underground, which was a complete mess in a good way.
on sunday we played hours of video games and then went to see upstream color, which i liked a lot, too.
yesterday was a bad day, i was really tired and went to work and soon got a terrible migraine and had to come home and lay in the dark and it felt like my eyes would pop out.
today i've got a nine hour evening shift so i ain't doing nothinnn but tomorrow i'm having a day off so i'm going to see tavarataivas by myself which i've wanted to see for a long time already but haven't gotten around to do yet.
otherwise, i've received some "dope" stuff in the mail.
first and foremost, leopard hellbounds.
they're super nice.
and second, a cat clutch. this is just beyond awesome, i'll have to post some lame outfit pic just so you can see how brill it is in action.
lol these pix are so bad lol lol lol i'll take glorious pix one day i swear. this was purposefully bad tho u guys
then ilmari made me a shoe shelf because my shoes are too big and there's too many of them for any store bought solution (actually he just put it up, i bought it and all but i like the 50s feel of the previous sentence, so)
my neo boots and some other stuff are still somewhere on the way but i hope to get them before the end of the month.
How would you describe your style?
junkie goth cyber babe jersey magic girl-kei
Who is your fashion role model?
the late daul kim, cyber goths, post punk bands,
What are you wardrobe staples?
dresses, big shoes, big coats, silly bags
Most expensive item in your closet?
i don't know, i don't think i own very expensive clothes rly. i have a few somewhat pricey shoes, hellbounds for example
Most wanted item?
currently, minkpink farshion coat
Favorite Designer?
alexander mcqueen 4shou
How much do you spend on clothes?
probably between 100€-500€ a month. shiit :T
What are your favorite places to shop?
irl h&m, weekday and zara. i should visit that one store, empire, that sells unif and stuff more often to support it, but it's just so far awayyyyy (no it's not, i've just become so incredibly lazy to leave the very core of helsinki nowadays). online dolls kill, nasty gal, yayer.
Favorite fragrance?
still trying to decide between couture couture by juicy couture and the basic lolita lempicka one
Whats your favorite way to do your hair?
nothing, i'm just happy if it doesn't look like a melted nest
What is your go-to outfit when you have no idea what to wear?
comfortable, all black; skater skirt or dress with cropped knit or top over and yru platforms
Piercings:
nape, nipple and tongue. thinking of getting rid of the tongue one, it never shows and it looks a bit silly on me
Tattoos:
nope, tattoos bore me to death
Boyfriend/Girlfriend:
what about it?
Overused Phrase:
oh god...
Animal:
giraffes, aye-aye, birds and especially peacocks
Drink:
cherry coke zero!!! ugh
Tv show:
hannah montana, pretty little liars, breaking bad, anything gordon ramsay, arrested development, happy endings, don't trust the bitch in apartment 23, hana yori dango, neon genesis evangelion, upotte
Movie:
lost in translation, love exposure
Actor/Actress:
jennifer lawrence, tom cruise and christian bale just because i mean how could he not
Pepsi or Coke:
coke but i think pepsi max is good too
Mc Donalds or Burger King:
i'm gonna go with mcdonald's bc it's been such a long time since i've had burger king so i wouldn't remeber correctly
Kiss or Hug:
both :I
Dog or Cat:
dog
Rap or Punk:
i really enjoy both, currently i'm listening more to rap tho
Summer or Winter:
summer, because of the light
Scary Movies or Funny Movies:
both, combos work too
Love or Money:
love
Want to go to College:
nah
Do you Smoke:
i might bum a cigarette once every two weeks, so i've basically quit
here's moi from two weeks ago
ta-dah
i'm abt to b late for work ick
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
NAY
no ya imma do dis here not tumbla
i know it's broing (purposeful typo, tho) but i don't have time to take pix now, i need to play video games after this
✌: share 5 things that you really want
equal rights for everyone
world peace
unif garter dress (will happen next paycheck)
super super super long and gorgeous hair
prada
☮ : share 5 favourite movies
lost in translation, love exposure, zoolander, the rocky horror picture show, ferris bueller + all those obscure japanese films i watched when i was 15 which blend together but some had ryuhei matsuda in them
❂ : share 5 favourite foods
mashed potatoes, veg sushi, spaghetti, ice cream, lasagna
☯ : share 5 persons you love being with
ilmari, my baby brother, melinda, my grandma, alcohol
☪ : share 5 favourite celebrities
daul kim, jennifer lawrence, gordon ramsay, don on cycle 20 of antm, brooke candy
❀ : share favourite thing you do when you get bored
_eat_, waste my life on the interwebs, play video games, get drunk, shop
♡ : share 5 favourite songs
crystal by new order, sunday by sonic youth, good time by crystal castles,
諦念プシガンガ by 戸川純, WONDERWALL LOL LOL no but 4realz who doesn't love wonderwall?
❁: share 5 favourite blogs
http://technoprimitiv.tumblr.com/
✓: tell 5 facts about yourself
i'm often very child-like, especially when i'm sad or tired
i'm extremely overly attached to many of my material posessions
i actually like my job, it may not be so cool or nething and the hours are murder, but other than that
i'm currently listening to the libertine by patrick wolf and i'd completely forgot how perf he is
i'm actually really sad i never listen to music these days. or i mean yes, i listen to sean paul and 90s hip hop and 1d, but i don't take time to find new artist and listen to those i really love
sparks is my favorite band!!
♧ : share 5 facts about your appearance
i look best naked, my eye color (greenish grayish) sux, i'd be unbearably in love with my face if my nose was sharper, i don't have freckles but i wish i did, i've come to realize i almost always wear the same kind of outfit; skater skirt/dress with some top over it and chunky shoes and an oversize coat
☆: share your current mood
blank, excited to play kh1.5 before work, NOT excited to go to work, loving the moody gray weather, craving ilmari
♒ : share about your crush
he's super duper handsome, and super duper smart i mean i don't use google anymore because i can just ask him and i do ask a lot of questions, he cooks delicious food and is always so proud of himself when he does, i thought he was really pretentious and annoying at first until i realized he's actually the most real person i've ever met, he's got this #redditプレッピーゴスオタク系 thing going on
☀ : something that made me smile today
ilmari
✖ : something you hate
patriarchy
☼ : something you love
plants and birds and fish
Monday, September 9, 2013
TIRED
i wish i could stab society and stick needles in it but it's inside me and everyone and i don't want to hurt any specific living thing i just choke when it smells too rotten. why do i have to have so much fake potential when i just want kind and dizzying mist?
i
will
never
bring
a
woman
to
this
world
i
will
never
bring
a
woman
to
this
world
Sunday, September 8, 2013
PAYDAY 15.0
all imma get for payday is youuuuu
and you
and you
nah i'm lying. i rly just want the shoes and the game.
gotta eat and gotta pop sum $$$$$$$$ thriftin and then gotta make more $$$$$$$$
:*
and you
and you
nah i'm lying. i rly just want the shoes and the game.
gotta eat and gotta pop sum $$$$$$$$ thriftin and then gotta make more $$$$$$$$
:*
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
"DOPE"
for some odd reason i'm suddenly very drawn to los angeles. i've never had any bigger interest in going, but now i do.
today i went to visit my grandma briefly. it was lovely, i've missed her so much, she's marvelous.
i'm going to hang with aino in a bit, in the meantime i'm trying to decide wether i should read j-pod or play skyrim (yes, i know, but my brother finally got tired of it so i only got it like two days ago) but this is what i end up doing:
also,
why does deandri have to do everything so right. i want everything. _fortunately_ i'm not thin, like seriously, i'd be so endlessly broke. and in debt. and like... without a kidney.
oh shit. blurred lines is on my spotify playlist. i need to download it as illegally as possible, it's so catchy but so gross, i don't want anyone to benefit from it any more :( i mean, thicke had so many chances to explain that it's really about actually hating blurred lines (fuck playing hard to get, really, don't do it! if you're mature enough to be in a relationship and/or have sex you should be mature enough to be honest about your feelings) or whatever, but he just keeps making it sound worse.
good time is the best song by crystal castles, hands down. i haven't listened to the new album because for a year, at 16, there was nothing but crystal castles in my life.
i heard this song that's instrumentally golden (because it sounds like the cure and everything i love) but the vocalist sounds so indie crap i can't even listen to it.
today i went to visit my grandma briefly. it was lovely, i've missed her so much, she's marvelous.
i'm going to hang with aino in a bit, in the meantime i'm trying to decide wether i should read j-pod or play skyrim (yes, i know, but my brother finally got tired of it so i only got it like two days ago) but this is what i end up doing:
also,
why does deandri have to do everything so right. i want everything. _fortunately_ i'm not thin, like seriously, i'd be so endlessly broke. and in debt. and like... without a kidney.
oh shit. blurred lines is on my spotify playlist. i need to download it as illegally as possible, it's so catchy but so gross, i don't want anyone to benefit from it any more :( i mean, thicke had so many chances to explain that it's really about actually hating blurred lines (fuck playing hard to get, really, don't do it! if you're mature enough to be in a relationship and/or have sex you should be mature enough to be honest about your feelings) or whatever, but he just keeps making it sound worse.
good time is the best song by crystal castles, hands down. i haven't listened to the new album because for a year, at 16, there was nothing but crystal castles in my life.
i heard this song that's instrumentally golden (because it sounds like the cure and everything i love) but the vocalist sounds so indie crap i can't even listen to it.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
N O T H I N G
why can't there be really advanced robot pets already? don't get me wrong, i am going to get myself an og sony aibo asap because it's awesome, but i want a bunny. i really, really, really want a bunny, but seeing as i can't even manage to keep a plant alive despite all the effort and love... also, i kind of think having pets in general is a bit perverse and i try to respect all animals as their own individuals and masters and not appreciate them for attributes such as looks or sound, but it's really hard for me when it comes to bunnies (and humans, for that matter). so, what better than an advanced cyber robot bunny? cuddly, but doesn't have to be washed and doesn't smell, doesn't need food yet chills around doing bunny stuff, doesn't sleep but charges during the night. how stellar would that be? _extremely_
today i had work at 6am. tomorrow i'm having a day off.
today i'm endlessly sad. i hope i'll be happy tomorrow.
today i want to watch the first twilight film. tomorrow i might take myself on a movie date and watch something proper.
creds
today i had work at 6am. tomorrow i'm having a day off.
today i'm endlessly sad. i hope i'll be happy tomorrow.
today i want to watch the first twilight film. tomorrow i might take myself on a movie date and watch something proper.
creds
Friday, August 23, 2013
$100
can we just take a moment and appreciate these shoes again ok
pix & shoes from solestruck
they're just so terribly expensive. they're almost a $100 more than a pair of hellbounds, and those aren't cheap either. plus the customs would be an additional $100. BUT THEN AGAIN iwantthemsobadandthey'resuperuniqueandcoolandusableand eautifulandmorecomfortablethanhellbounds (although i wore them after a break a while back and was again amazed at how incredibly comfortable they are) so i could wear them everyday for the rest of my life and ugh ugh ugh ugh.
i think i'll end up buying them.
because i really want to.
because i've become so much better.
because i'm worth it.
because i would be the coolest in the world.
tuesday housewife
i'm somewhat sick. on tuesday i had a high fever in the evening but on wednesday i was totally fine, yesterday i had a terrible headache at work and this morning i had a horrible flu and now i'm quite alright. what.
my hair is ridiculous. i'm trying to grow my bangs out but it's so painful and painful and painful and painful and painful and i hate doing it but i have to do it because i look so much edgier without it. yesterday i got a loose hair in my eye and it got stuck on my eyeball and i tried to get it out for like 15 minutes and finally when i managed to get that stupid hair out i had to sit down for 5 minutes so i wouldn't vomit or faint because the hair had like eye slime on it and it was just so horrible, i hope i'll never have to go through that again. i'm not chill with eyeballs.
pix & shoes from solestruck
they're just so terribly expensive. they're almost a $100 more than a pair of hellbounds, and those aren't cheap either. plus the customs would be an additional $100. BUT THEN AGAIN iwantthemsobadandthey'resuperuniqueandcoolandusableand eautifulandmorecomfortablethanhellbounds (although i wore them after a break a while back and was again amazed at how incredibly comfortable they are) so i could wear them everyday for the rest of my life and ugh ugh ugh ugh.
i think i'll end up buying them.
because i really want to.
because i've become so much better.
because i'm worth it.
because i would be the coolest in the world.
tuesday housewife
i'm somewhat sick. on tuesday i had a high fever in the evening but on wednesday i was totally fine, yesterday i had a terrible headache at work and this morning i had a horrible flu and now i'm quite alright. what.
my hair is ridiculous. i'm trying to grow my bangs out but it's so painful and painful and painful and painful and painful and i hate doing it but i have to do it because i look so much edgier without it. yesterday i got a loose hair in my eye and it got stuck on my eyeball and i tried to get it out for like 15 minutes and finally when i managed to get that stupid hair out i had to sit down for 5 minutes so i wouldn't vomit or faint because the hair had like eye slime on it and it was just so horrible, i hope i'll never have to go through that again. i'm not chill with eyeballs.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
MY TEARS ARE PRADA
ah trench coats and pearls and pvc.
what a diamond combo.
today i'm going to blast bowie from my macbook air and not bother attaching it to speakers (like i'd ever) and look like a loser housewife and watch mtv and then go and binge on my mom's delish food because she's hands down the best cook ever and i'm going to play video and board games with my little brother and then ilmari is taking me to our neighbor chinese restaurant.
otherwise, i'm trying to chillax. i'm so tense i'm going to snap any day now. i'm so tired of being a douche about stuff and it's like i hate fashion and trends as it is, it's just so very easy for me, and i'm very attached to visually pleasing things. but i want to be able to step out for five minutes and not be like "what are you doing combining those shoes with that and can you just please stop wearing those ugly ass flower crowns, they're so passé and dip dyes were cool in 2008 and having unnatural hair colors in general can you just not plz cmon AND IF NOTHING ELSE, PLEASE I BEG YOU TO STOP WITH EVERYTHING THAT'S JOY DIVISION" and you probably get what i'm saying. it's EXHAUSTING to be like this. once upon a time i ate a tiny bit of acid and it made me so pleasant and calm. and now it's haunting me and i just want to be pleasant and calm all the time and currently i really have a hard time seeing people as people before i know them because everyone looks the same AND AT THE SAME TIME WHY DO I WORSHIP MYSELF OVER EVERYONE ELSE WHEN MONEY CAN BUY ANYTHING ANYWAY AND WHY IS IT BETTER TO CHOOSE CERTAIN CLOTHES FROM H&M RATHER THAN THOSE MOST CHOOSE???? ah, i feel like this stuff won't be a problem for me in like two years, but as for now, ugh. but you know, i bet this partially has something to do with my style being mainstream fashion at the moment. i've had pastel hair for years without being a mall goth at the same time, and i've loved pvc and platform shoes (i've had my creepers for 7 years) and i've had a bob since forever and i just feel like i do my own thing better than everyone else who's thing it isn't and it's bothering me that i look like everyone else. and i want to say it's because everyone else sees me as "just another fashionista (god how i hate that word)" but that's how i look at people too (but then again, truth is it's easy to spot someone who is fashionable and still doing their own thing contra someone wearing platforms shoes, galaxy patterns and a flower crown with lavender hair and disco pants all at the same time) and it's just a vicious cycle and i want out. because i'm not a vicious person at all. i'm a very nice and loving and silly person and i just want to enjoy life as much as i can, heck, i'm so nice i only watch sitcoms. i really just want to be happy and do nice things and have a moderate collection of pretty stuff that i appreciate for reasons other than the brand or how hip it is. sometimes i wonder if stopping using the internet for other things than netflix and actually looking for information would be the key. maybe i should go to india and smoke endless amounts of weed and come back a hippie.
but, i really want to bring some good news, too. some time ago, i wrote about how misogynist and sexist i am, and i really feel i've become incredibly much better. so now it's just this snobbery and elitism and insecurity that has to go. i feel heaps better after finally writing it out, too. to anyone who knows me it's no news, but now it's really out in the open and i'll try to better myself further.
i think i've heard two songs from one direction but i'm still crushing on them more than ever, currently i'm watching "mtv live hd" and best song ever is on again and it's so adorable. why can't i be in one direction?
(a selena gomez vid is on now, she's so ridiculously pretty and this song (come & get it) is extremely catchy. very much enjoying the scenery as well lol see how i'm overcompensating now that i've admitted what a witch i really am)
(bastille, on the other hand, bores me to death)
(i _love_ ray dalton in this macklemore song (can't hold us), i love his subtle dancing when he first appears, i love his clothes, i love his voice, i want to be him, he seems extremely zen)
gotta bounce.
much love, seriously.
what a diamond combo.
today i'm going to blast bowie from my macbook air and not bother attaching it to speakers (like i'd ever) and look like a loser housewife and watch mtv and then go and binge on my mom's delish food because she's hands down the best cook ever and i'm going to play video and board games with my little brother and then ilmari is taking me to our neighbor chinese restaurant.
otherwise, i'm trying to chillax. i'm so tense i'm going to snap any day now. i'm so tired of being a douche about stuff and it's like i hate fashion and trends as it is, it's just so very easy for me, and i'm very attached to visually pleasing things. but i want to be able to step out for five minutes and not be like "what are you doing combining those shoes with that and can you just please stop wearing those ugly ass flower crowns, they're so passé and dip dyes were cool in 2008 and having unnatural hair colors in general can you just not plz cmon AND IF NOTHING ELSE, PLEASE I BEG YOU TO STOP WITH EVERYTHING THAT'S JOY DIVISION" and you probably get what i'm saying. it's EXHAUSTING to be like this. once upon a time i ate a tiny bit of acid and it made me so pleasant and calm. and now it's haunting me and i just want to be pleasant and calm all the time and currently i really have a hard time seeing people as people before i know them because everyone looks the same AND AT THE SAME TIME WHY DO I WORSHIP MYSELF OVER EVERYONE ELSE WHEN MONEY CAN BUY ANYTHING ANYWAY AND WHY IS IT BETTER TO CHOOSE CERTAIN CLOTHES FROM H&M RATHER THAN THOSE MOST CHOOSE???? ah, i feel like this stuff won't be a problem for me in like two years, but as for now, ugh. but you know, i bet this partially has something to do with my style being mainstream fashion at the moment. i've had pastel hair for years without being a mall goth at the same time, and i've loved pvc and platform shoes (i've had my creepers for 7 years) and i've had a bob since forever and i just feel like i do my own thing better than everyone else who's thing it isn't and it's bothering me that i look like everyone else. and i want to say it's because everyone else sees me as "just another fashionista (god how i hate that word)" but that's how i look at people too (but then again, truth is it's easy to spot someone who is fashionable and still doing their own thing contra someone wearing platforms shoes, galaxy patterns and a flower crown with lavender hair and disco pants all at the same time) and it's just a vicious cycle and i want out. because i'm not a vicious person at all. i'm a very nice and loving and silly person and i just want to enjoy life as much as i can, heck, i'm so nice i only watch sitcoms. i really just want to be happy and do nice things and have a moderate collection of pretty stuff that i appreciate for reasons other than the brand or how hip it is. sometimes i wonder if stopping using the internet for other things than netflix and actually looking for information would be the key. maybe i should go to india and smoke endless amounts of weed and come back a hippie.
but, i really want to bring some good news, too. some time ago, i wrote about how misogynist and sexist i am, and i really feel i've become incredibly much better. so now it's just this snobbery and elitism and insecurity that has to go. i feel heaps better after finally writing it out, too. to anyone who knows me it's no news, but now it's really out in the open and i'll try to better myself further.
i think i've heard two songs from one direction but i'm still crushing on them more than ever, currently i'm watching "mtv live hd" and best song ever is on again and it's so adorable. why can't i be in one direction?
(a selena gomez vid is on now, she's so ridiculously pretty and this song (come & get it) is extremely catchy. very much enjoying the scenery as well lol see how i'm overcompensating now that i've admitted what a witch i really am)
(bastille, on the other hand, bores me to death)
(i _love_ ray dalton in this macklemore song (can't hold us), i love his subtle dancing when he first appears, i love his clothes, i love his voice, i want to be him, he seems extremely zen)
gotta bounce.
much love, seriously.
Friday, August 16, 2013
UGH UNIF UGH UGH UGH UGHHH
i hate unif.
i _hate_ unif.
i unfollowed all my favorite stores on fb for time being but forgot i can still read e-mail titles and it's not like i can skip a mail titled "hey baby naomi new unif collection up give us ur money bitch and we'll be ur best friend" and i'm like, i'll just have a little glance, surely it's ugly as hell becuase that's how i always feel about unif. and uknow, i can resist most of it, like, the furby sweater is really tickling my fancy, but i can resist it, but then BOOM MOTHERFUCKING BAM, there it is. the gammaray skirt;
luckily
i i'm getting tired of holographic clothing
ii i know i haven't worn my mermaid skirt much because of the cut which isn't stellar on moi, and it's the same cut
iii i've eaten nothing but candy and pies since quitting smoking so i would look bad in anything (i swear i'll get a grip next week)
iv it might be sold out in the two weeks until my paycheck
pics are screencaps from dollskill.
das all.
cry.
i _hate_ unif.
i unfollowed all my favorite stores on fb for time being but forgot i can still read e-mail titles and it's not like i can skip a mail titled "hey baby naomi new unif collection up give us ur money bitch and we'll be ur best friend" and i'm like, i'll just have a little glance, surely it's ugly as hell becuase that's how i always feel about unif. and uknow, i can resist most of it, like, the furby sweater is really tickling my fancy, but i can resist it, but then BOOM MOTHERFUCKING BAM, there it is. the gammaray skirt;
luckily
i i'm getting tired of holographic clothing
ii i know i haven't worn my mermaid skirt much because of the cut which isn't stellar on moi, and it's the same cut
iii i've eaten nothing but candy and pies since quitting smoking so i would look bad in anything (i swear i'll get a grip next week)
iv it might be sold out in the two weeks until my paycheck
pics are screencaps from dollskill.
das all.
cry.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
I'M POINTLESS
i'm quitting smoking and trying to make it easier by living on fat, fast carbs and booze. working like a charm so far, but i'm afraid of what i'm going to look like in a week.
i want my style to be more uniform-like and consistent. consistently ドットコム·バブル, junkie cyber slutty ninja athletic mall goth.
plus i need more fur coats. fur > everything.
dries van noten ss 14
something that looks like it's from dolls kill
iceberg ss 14
2nite ilmari and i are going to some dnb party nearby. hope it's fun. rn i'm so bored tho :(
#smize #newantmcyclemakesmecringe #stillhooked #nofilter
i want my style to be more uniform-like and consistent. consistently ドットコム·バブル, junkie cyber slutty ninja athletic mall goth.
plus i need more fur coats. fur > everything.
dries van noten ss 14
something that looks like it's from dolls kill
iceberg ss 14
2nite ilmari and i are going to some dnb party nearby. hope it's fun. rn i'm so bored tho :(
#smize #newantmcyclemakesmecringe #stillhooked #nofilter
Thursday, August 8, 2013
1 CORINTHIAS 13
i feel sick inside and out and there's a rotten smell coming from somewhere deep inside me.
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
i wish i could see love exposure for the first time over and over.
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
i wish i could see love exposure for the first time over and over.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
TERRIBLE PUN
so a couple of days ago i saw this kid wearing an unknown pleasures tee, and i didn't want to burn the shirt and lecture him. you know why? because he was this awkward looking, skinny, pale kid with bad posture and unfashionable glasses and was tops 17. fucking grow up, the rest of you.
on friday i went out with mom and her friend. when i got off work they were in grotesk which was an ok place. then we went to teatteri which was like ridiculously shitty. oh my god. worst dj ever. on wednesday i went to roska with henni. just because i forgot my id at home and it's about the closest bar to our place. they played the best music i've ever heard in roska. not some disgusting passé indie shit with a touch of ironic something in between. i mean, it wasn't that cutting edge or ug or anything on wednesday either, but it was perf. and the clientele consisted of tall, speedy guys and not catty post-hipsters.
endless love 4ever,
naomi.
on friday i went out with mom and her friend. when i got off work they were in grotesk which was an ok place. then we went to teatteri which was like ridiculously shitty. oh my god. worst dj ever. on wednesday i went to roska with henni. just because i forgot my id at home and it's about the closest bar to our place. they played the best music i've ever heard in roska. not some disgusting passé indie shit with a touch of ironic something in between. i mean, it wasn't that cutting edge or ug or anything on wednesday either, but it was perf. and the clientele consisted of tall, speedy guys and not catty post-hipsters.
endless love 4ever,
naomi.
Friday, August 2, 2013
WHATEVS 4EVS
i was gonna go to flow festival this year. because grimes and because my bloody valentine nostalgia and because k-x-p and because kraftwerk and apart from grimes, especially for the club-gigs past 1am. but... there aren't any???? the entire festival closes at like 2am. what the fucking fuck kinda sad joke is that? i'll admit i haven't had any interest in going since 2009, but this year i was really feeling it and now i'm not feeling it. like, i'd really love to see grimes, but then again it might end up being disgusting because helsinki, so i wouldn't pay that much i guess. and maybe i'd just rather drink cheap beer at home and google-search for some ug party because i'm a loser.
i
d
k
r
n
.
i need platinum cornrows tho.
the only right accessory for all eternity. currently shopping for a cute enough one.
i
what
i
d
k
r
n
.
i need platinum cornrows tho.
the only right accessory for all eternity. currently shopping for a cute enough one.
i
what
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